My First Basketball Game

6:48: It is ON, my friends. I have successfully located my sports-savvy friends, passed through security, found the escalator (harder than you would think), and am safely settled in a Box. In sports, that's a good thing: you get your own bathroom, coat hangers, and non-manned bar. Plus extra seats and a delightful view. Also, seemingly a soundtrack. I have only been to a few sporting events, but that is one of the more surprising things: pop music...constantly. And lights. If I were prone to strokes, I'd find sports to be a challenge. Now, let's see if the wifi is working.

6:58 Sports also has trucks! Or, one truck. And it FLIES!!! It's like Harry Potter up in here.

7:00 Game Ball Delivery is a thing. The ball is delivered from Muggle to Muggle, escorted by a scantily-clad lass.

7:04 We begin, as all basketball games do, with dimmed lights and the muted (seriously) sound of trombones playing the national anthem.

7:15, sorry, delay. Just got some amazing news having to do with a different sport, so was sidetracked.

We are losing.

7:34 First quarter is over and we are still losing. One of my sports savvy friends suggested I take notes and blog at breaks so as to more fully experience. So I dropped a book on his head. (Seriously, but it was accidental.) oops.

My thoughts to date:

No irony in those mini slo-mo movies of the players, huh?

Why is the mascot a wildcat instead of Lewis & Clark?

BlazerDancers. All around the video-ring^tm. Are they real? Is it a video? More research on this is needed. I sensed no irony, so probably a video.

Someone has a sign that loudly proclaims LUNCH MEAT. Why?

There are 4 12-min quarters, so we should be all done 36 minutes from now, eh?

7:51 Time-out, Portland!

That's not enough time in which to update.

Half-time, so time to write up thoughts from the second quarter.

We are not winning, which surprised me because I think we are very good. Bill said there is a famous quote about this, which is, "That's why they play the game." (Source unknown)

Where is the ice? Last time I was here they were playing hockey.

There's another famous sports quote that even I knew: "The taller they are, the harder they fall."

That quote is about basketball. Ouch, man from Philadelphia.

There are binoculars attached to the seats! I thought one of my friends just brought his own!

Inflatable cats came out to dance: I kid you not. Will update with pics when I have a stronger signal.

Basketball players as a whole have more hair than I expected.

Mo Williams is NOT the same person as Mo Willems. I know who Mo Willems is; Bill knows who Mo Williams is.

They are selling red aprons. For those who want to blaze a new trail in the kitchen. I should write marketing copy for sports. (Call me.)

Halftime: extended dancing by dedicated and practiced audience members. I'm curious about this phenomenon. 

And why no BlazerDancers at halftime? In football that's when the SCLs make their appearance. Here they are just on the video-ring. I think they are CGI'ed.

8:48 Third quarter over. I admit to missing most of it because I got the chance to talk to someone I never see and absolutely adore, so she and I squeeed at each other for a long while. I am NOT bad luck when I'm not paying attention, as evidenced by the current score: 78-75, us.

BlazerDancers came out after the third quarter (they read my blog) and they are WEARING LESS now. Bill said to wait and see what happens if we go into extra innings.

9:07 Well, I payed attention and we are losing again. I'm so sorry, Portland. 

However, the Dancers put on their skirts again. Maybe they put in more clothes when we are losing, as a mourning process?

Update: Bill answered this for me. Those girls with the skirts are the stunt team, not the Dancers. Silly kids, skirts are for stunts!

9:12 I'm not judging here, but the screen spells "defense," "d-fense," so...

9:14 TIED!

9:15 The board is spelling it right now. My readership is HUGE.

9:17 I have tested this and I am super bad luck when I pay attention. I am no longer watching. This is for your safety. 1:16 remaining 

22.5 remaining. I peeked out of one eye and we are down one.

I stood up and now we are down 4. You know how people say, "Everytime you ____, _____ kills a ______?" Well, everyone time Kelley pays attention, the opposing team kills the Blazers."

9:37 We lost: chalupa minus one to chalupa plus one. Sad emoticon.