The University of Oregon Ducks are a football team, and their only real rival is Alabama, but they don't get to play them unless they go to the nationals (?) and the only team in their half (?) of the league (?) that they are worried about is Stanford, but that would make you think they would be second-best when in point of fact they are currently ranked third because Florida State beat Clemson, and this is college ball, not professional which is called the NFL and Boston and St. Louis are playing the second game of the World Series and Boston won first but right now the Cardinals are winning except that just changed which tells me that the bruised ribs are not so bad and Chicago won the Stanley cup recently, Boston was robbed, 17 seconds, and there are two hockey teams that are both called the Hawks and Martina Navratilova is a lesbian which no one used to know and that other guy has a super bad temper and sometimes threw his racket, and the Red Sox are saying to "fear the beard" which even I know they stole that from Brian Wilson, who is both a beach boy and also an injured pitcher who is playing in Albuquerque and being sort of a dick to his fans who are fans of the Isotopes but used to be the Dukes and are a feeder (?) team for the Dodgers who were at one point in LA but may have changed.
(whew) There's all my sports knowledge. I thought I should share in case you didn't know as much as I do.
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